Sponsor: Vietnam Association for Victims of Agent Orange
Title: Acknowledging What Has Been Done-Preparing the Ground To Move Forward
The time is now! War has a beginning, middle and an end. Another way of saying this is that there is a disagreement, violent interaction and reconciliation.
Right now, we are at the point of reconciliation. It is a time for acknowledgment, taking care of each other, person to person, country to country, and healing the damage done to our planet. This requires much integrity from all involved. Today marks the 50th or one-half century, the anniversary of the spraying of Agent Orange.
I am a disabled vet now; I was a 19 year old door-gunner then, when I participated in spraying the deadly chemicals from a helicopter. I didn’t know how devastating their impact on all living things would be. We were not informed about the details. It was almost like any other mission until we actually got to the site. From that moment on, the four of us, two pilots and two gunners, we went silent. It felt as if we were witnessing a mass funeral, everything was dead, especially nature. At that young age it was just a feeling I experienced, with out intellectual understanding of the future impact of this mass destruction on the people and the land. We were soldiers. I recall a vet’s comment at one of our meetings in America, after I shared about this mission; he said “If I knew what you were doing, I would have shot you down myself”.
After the First Agent Orange Conference in 2006 we toured the country, visited victims, many of whom are dead by now, and are being replaced by a never ending stream of new victims. The chemicals have affected the genetics, caused mutations that are expressed in a myriad of diseases. Today a part of this country is uninhabitable because of the contamination Agent Orange left behind.
Our original five member team (Marine, Air Force, Army) has lost two, David Cline and Joan Duffy. All five of us had shared intimate social meetings with fellow soldiers, who at one time had fought against us. In one of those conversations, I and one of my new friends realized that we were in the same fire-fight. A comment that stood out was “If We Could Only Get an Acknowledgement from the American Government” healing could begin.
Many years later, after fully understanding the devastating power of this chemical, it has been impossible to fathom how we as humans could authorize such an act.
Personally, I became addicted to heroin and other drugs as a way to cope with my traumatic experiences. Later I had the insight and support to seek professional help for my problems. Finally, my conscious healing process began in 1999 and recently came full circle at an international Buddhist teacher’s conference. It takes time to heal, like taking care of a fruit tree that has been damaged. The most important thing that I have learned is to never stop giving wise attention to the task especially when it involves oneself, just continue to make adjustments.
Standing here now at the age of 61 and getting a little closer to the end of my life cycle, I ask myself what do I have to give that would promote some kind of justice, retribution or healing. I am not a lawyer so I can’t create a good argument; I am not a medical doctor so I can’t administer medicine; I am not a construction worker, plumber or electrician. However, I am a Meditation Teacher, and once was a Forest Buddhist Monk in the monasteries of Thailand and Burma. I had the privilege of studying with esteemed Meditation Masters from Asia: Tamanya Sayadaw from Burma, Maha Bowa and Luang Por Sumedho from Thailand, and Venerable Thich Nhat Hanh from Vietnam. I can share my practice.
I attended high school in Japan, was a soldier in Vietnam, and finally came back to Asia to begin my healing process. I can and will offer my personal apology for the contamination of this beautiful country, which I have supported.
There is hope. We live in a different world compared to 50 years ago. I will name a few points that are relevant to the change that we are witnessing. One is the concept of Green Living, which promotes creative solutions to the environmental problems that plague us. Because of ignorance, we as custodians of our planet, have committed so many unskillful acts, greedy consumption of fossil fuels and soil contamination, to name a few.. These and many other harmful actions have caused a shift in our climate and weather patterns. Hopefully these dramatic results will bring us to our senses, and put an end to our indifference.
Secondly, we are learning to embrace the concepts of diversity, interconnectedness of all living beings, and gender equality, all of which are aiding in our evolution as human beings.
Thirdly, we are a global group of wonderful people, supported by technology, the world wide web, we can come to the table and have a conversation, we can all be heard.
We continue to learn from wars, hopefully today’s acknowledgments will accelerate our emotional and intellectual growth. This is not about what happened fifty years ago, it is much more importantly about what we can do right now.
I am asking all those who are listening near and far, to share this acknowledgment in your own words, with the proper authorities that can contribute to the change we seek.
I ask you and our earth to forgive me for the endless devastation that I have caused. Please, forgive me for this senseless act…….please, forgive me for the destruction of our environment ……please, forgive me for spraying Agent Orange that has affected our soldiers, innocent people, and our planet….please, forgive me for causing this catastrophic illnesses that is seeded in our children and children to come………..please forgive me…………..
Since the beginning of time whenever we encounter something that’s bigger than us we need to counter the situation by giving appropriate attention to something that is bigger than our sense of self, in order to restore balance.
From the goodness that has arisen from my talk, may the guides of great virtue, our mothers, our fathers and our relatives and especially all the virtual leaders of the world be called into the circle. Those who are friendly, indifferent or hostile may all take heed of the injustice that has been done. Through this action may all become alerted to supporting the process of acknowledgment, so that we can cultivate a greener planet and healthier people.
I ask those people in positions of authority and the guiding spirit of our earth to give attention this matter. Through this act of sharing, may the healing sun- shine on all who have been affected directly or indirectly by this deadly chemical.
Testimony of Dr. Nguyen Thi Ngoc Phuong (pdf)
Testimony of Tran Thi Hoan (pdf)
